A few years ago, okay, maybe many years ago, I was happily going along in my first year of marriage trying to figure out how to be the perfect wife. I saw an ad for a class being offered in the home of a previous Miss Texas. She was teaching on self-improvement. She would cover things like, make-up application, hair care, confidence, etc. This was right up my ally as I loved things like this. I never thought of myself as pretty and I was always looking for ways to learn new things to present myself better.
I called my bff, Tammy! What fun she was. We had just become close friends and we were always getting into something. We often referred to ourself as Lucy and Ethel. We had taken a sewing class together and I’ll have to share that one someday, but, today, I felt led to share this little story of our self improvement class with Miss Texas. Can you imagine, sitting down with a Miss Texas and have her share all of her secrets? What fun this was going to be.
Since it was 37 years ago, I don’t remember all of the teachings, but, two main things have stayed in my mind for…..37 years! Matter of fact, as I was washing my hair this morning, it went through my mind again. So, naturally, I had to write about it.
Tammy and I had our notepads all ready to take down important notes as we gleaned wisdom from this beautiful lady that had won a title in the Miss Texas pageant.
One lesson that was planted in my brain for 37 years was about… my hair. Trust me when I say that I have struggled with my hair. I have very thick and course hair. When I would put my hair in pony tails, I would usually break the rubber band due to trying to get it in my hair. I would roll my hair each morning on electric rollers and my hair was so heavy it would be straight within a few hours.
While in high school the latest rage was to frost your hair. Yep, I went for it. So many hours of sitting with that cap on my head as someone would dig into my scalp to pull a small strand of hair out of the little bitty holes in the cap. I can still hear that sound and feel the pain when the metal pick went into my scalp. The thing about frosting your hair, you need to keep it up as it won’t look good as it is growing out. I learned that lesson pretty fast.
My hair is a dark blonde and the small bit of frosting I would do gave it just a bit of lightness that I loved.
Also, during that first year of marriage, I went to a hairstylist that gave me a Dorthy Hamill haircut. Whew, it was short, but I liked it. Easy to keep and style. My thick hair was perfect for that style. I’m being brave and sharing this picture from that “era.” I should have attended the session on eyebrows! What in the world! What happened to my eyebrows! Okay, I know what happened. My aunt who was very beautiful had very thin eyebrows and I admired them as my eyebrows were huge! Evidently, I wanted eyebrows like my aunt. Ouch!
Okay, back to the class and the session on hair. The first question that was asked was, “Who colors their hair or frosts their hair?” I raised my hand and all of the sudden I felt like I was alone. Miss Texas then said, “Well, I have virgin hair, so I don’t know anything about coloring.” All of the sudden I felt really embarrassed about my hair. Virgin Hair? What in the world did that mean? I began thinking about it while she was talking and of course I couldn’t tell you a thing what she said after her statement about virgin hair. I felt like a hussy (aka Harlot) all of the sudden, me and my non-virgin hair. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
After Tammy and I talked about it, we had a pretty good laugh and joked about it for a long time.
The next class was coming up and me and my non-virgin hair showed up for the session on voice. I needed this one for sure evidently because as soon as I told her my name, Miss Texas immediately handed me a 4 page handout with a script on it. She said that I needed to lower my voice and not talk so high and soft. I have always known this was a problem for me. I had been made fun of for many years for my voice. It is very soft and quiet. I took the script home and I practiced it for a week in a lower voice and a bit louder. When we went back to the next session that next week, I was ready. She asked if I had worked on it. I did, but, as I started reading, my voice was no different…..I think I was so nervous and fearful of not sounding correct, I lost everything in my brain that I had worked on. She wasn’t that happy with me and moved on to the next subject.
I was failing my self-improvement course quickly.
When I told my husband about it, he simply told me to not worry about my voice. He liked my voice just how it was. So that settled that.
The last class was approaching and it was on make-up application. I had really wanted to go to it, but, I had to be at church that night. So my fun friend, Tammy, went alone. She came by the house when I was home later that night and was fuming. First of all when I saw her, I started laughing. She had so much make-up on that all we could do was laugh. The only words that I remember her saying is, “I feel like I look like a clown and you weren’t there to go through this last session together!” I let my friend down to walk her through the craziness of make-up application by a Miss Texas. I apologized and we laughed some more and I even laugh today when it pops into my head about that crazy course on Self-Improvement by Miss Texas.
Life is so much fun when you have a BFF that will do all those crazy things with you and you have a husband that tells you that he loves you just the way your are when you come home in tears from a self improvement class by a Miss Texas!
I still go and have my hair highlighted (not frosted) and I can safely say that a hair appointment doesn’t go by that I don’t hear Miss Texas say, “Well, I have no idea, I have virgin hair.”
All that to say, I’ve come along way since my Miss Texas class on self improvement. She was a beautiful young lady and had much wisdom to share. I was a shy girl with low self esteem and I never believed anyone when they told me I was pretty. Today, I still work on the areas that I need help in and I’m always willing to learn something new. I still struggle with my hair and I think I have control on my eyebrows now. I have the assurance that my husband loves me just how I am even when I don’t have any make-up on and my hair needs highlights. I am a firm believer in being the best YOU possible, but, sometimes I see many going overboard in that area. I work hard at not getting caught up so much that I’m heading to the local botox place. Well, if I weren’t so afraid of needles and doctor offices, it could cross my mind! We watch movies and look at pictures of celebrities and we admire the beautiful people we see and the truth is they are so plumped up with botox and make up and then filtered that we don’t see the real person. We want to compare ourselves to that picture. The same is on social media. Everything looks so perfect and beautiful. We might be surprised at what the real version looks like. Don’t get me wrong. I like making things look beautiful. My home, my life and even myself as hard as that is sometimes. But, sometimes things aren’t perfect and beautiful.
When we are secure in who we are and that we were created and formed by an amazing creator, we don’t have to get so caught up in being perfect and look just right. He takes all that un-beautifulness and turns it in to something amazing for His glory.
When we have been saved and redeemed by Jesus Christ we want to present the best us that we can, so we can share the love of Christ to others.
We can use our voice regardless how quiet or loud it is to share the good news of a Savior who came to die on the cross for our sin and give us an eternal life.
Let what is in your heart shine through and the beauty will be unstoppable. Even botox can’t compare to a real peace and love that shines through your eyes, your voice, your attitude and your life.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. -Psalm 139:14
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Linking this post with A Wise Woman Builds Her Home